The Only One I See
by nleslie
Summary: Keely is 21 and in college. Though living away from California, she's got friends old and new to keep her going. But can she get Phil to see her as more than just a friend? Read to find out! Renamed
1. intro

CHARACTERS: Keely Teslow, Phil Diffy, Kait Jjacks, Nolan Merced, Lilith Mayer, Katie Larson, Luke Gilmor, Pim Diffy, Mandy Teslow, Barb Diffy, Lloyd Diffy, Prof. Richard Lawrence.

DESCRIPTION: Keely is 21 and in college. Though living far away from her family, she's got plenty of friends to keep her going. There might be one friend she wishes that would be more than just 'a friend', but life is good. Until that particular friend gets a girlfriend- and she's perfect and sweet and he's quickly falling into her charm. Can Keely get him to see what she's feeling before it's too late?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Phil of the Future or any of the characters tied to it. Also, brand names and logos mentioned in this fiction are for the benefit of the story and I don't mean to offend or confuse. Putting it simply, I don't own Phil or Sierra Mist. Got it? Great!

AUTHORS NOTES (excuse the nutty randomness!)

_Hi! This is my new fic! I guess you've all been holding out for one, and I'm sorry it's taken soo long! I really want to finish this one, and I'll try really hard to. I'm not gonna say anything to jinx it, haha! Anyway, I hope you all like it. It's more mature, deep... Jeez, it sounds like I'm describing a red wine! XD "Oh, you know, it's shiraz, merlot..."_

_I really, really hope you like this one. Name is going to change, I've yet to think of a perfect title. ;) Please don't be afraid to send me feedback! I love it, it keeps me motivated!br_

_--Love, your pal Nora. ) (Not literally of course! :P)_

--introduction--

I often wonder what life would be like if I had been born with a totally different personality. You know- would I have been less shy, better at academics: that kind of thing. Would it be easier to get into college, or would I be able to open up more? I definitely don't need to be more outgoing: that's a given!

Anyway, it's an easy thing for me to wonder. I guess we all think about it at some point in life. I wonder if I'm doomed to unsuccessfulness because I'm more bubbly than a cream soda. For example, who says 'more bubbly than a cream soda' these days? Who said it back then? I sure as heck don't know.

I guess I should probably introduce myself, if I haven't scared you off by now, which is kind of a miracle in itself. I'm Keely Teslow. I'm twenty one and busy, busy! Between juggling college, art school, a job, and a social life, it gets kinda hectic around here. My friends keep me going, though, and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them.

I'm studying Economics at Hartford University. Hartford, not Harvard! I was born and raised in California, close to San Diego, but moved to Connecticut not just for college but to be with my best friend as well. When I heard that he was applying for colleges in the Hartford area, I searched and applied to all the colleges I could find in that exact same area. Call it stupid or childish, but if I'm not with my friends, I'm not anything.

Anything!

I have a little studio above a bagel store. I was staying in travelers hotels for 30 a night, and stopping at the bagel place one morning I met a waitress who happened to be the daughter of a man who's best friends with the owner of the building... Confusing you yet? And he happened to be looking for a tenant. I snapped at the chance and not only scored a great place to live (hello, never need to worry about breakfast again!), but also a great friend. The waitress Kait and I have since become crazy-close. I've never had such a great girlfriend.

But I'm sadly single. Nope- no happy singles group for me! What I wouldn't give to wake up to someone every morning, but can you really blame me? Actually, there's one person I've got firmly glued in my mind, and it has been that way since I was fifteen. That's nearly ten years wanting someone who just sees you as a friend. But maybe this year will be different. Just maybe.

Of course I say this every year and it never comes true. But I'm determined that this is a year for change! A year for success and romance and joy!

Oh yeah... I say that every year, too.

I don't really know what else to say. What there is _to_ say, you know? That's another thing, If I had a different personality, I'd want to be more interesting. That's a given.

I'm Keely Teslow, and this is me.

-

_Hope you liked the intro.. 1st chapter coming when I get reviews. Hit that button, people! XD _


	2. chapter one

--chapter one--

After exchanging my last few dollars for a box of nachos and a Dr. Pepper, I headed over to the park across from the campus library. Once I had sourced a shady tree and spread out my jacket on the grass, I sat down and pulled Atonement from my bag. I'm trying to finish it so I can finally get to finishing that paper... Anyway, I was halfway through my lunch when I was accompanied by a certain brunette man. I didn't say anything but I greeted him with a nudge. A couple of pages later I reached over to take another handful of chips only to find that the box was missing.

'Phil,' I said wryly. 'Give me back my nachos... now.'

He handed them back, rubbing his hands on his jeans, and lay down on the grass. I continued to read in silence as he went on about is morning. I muttered responses but really couldn't care less.

'Have you got anything on this afternoon?' he asked. 'Cause that Daniel Pearl movie is out and I want you to see it with me.'

I set my book on my lap and gave him a look. 'Me? C'mon, Phil. You know I couldn't sit through that.'

He sighed and I found myself staring at him, again. 'Well, if you can't, I can't.'

I stared at him with my patronizing look. 'Just when I think you couldn't be any more full of it, there you go and surprise me. You go see it with Nolan and I can just hang with the girls.'

Nolan was a friend of both of ours. He's the nerdiest guy in the world so it's natural that he and Phil are like brothers. He writes (draws?) comic books and is more opinionated than a late-night show material writer. But he's also mind numbingly brilliant and we love him, so that's that.

Phil groaned like a little kid as I sipped my Dr. Pepper. 'Ugh... We never spend time just you and I.'

I had to resist the urge to whack him over the head. Why are boys so dense?

'What exactly do you call this then? Or are there pixies hiding in the trees disrupting our you-and-me-time?' I said in my best disbelieving tone.

'Well, if you came you'd talk through it anyway,' he said snootily. I scoffed and threw a nacho at him.

'Full-of-it!' I hissed and put Atonement back into my bag and gathered up my trash. He sat up and gave me that look that I'd dreamed about so many times.

'You love it,' he shrugged as I stood.

'I'm not going cause I promised the girls I'd take them out for some drinks tonight,' I said as I threw the trash into a nearby bin and slung the strap of my bag around my neck. 'Call Nolan, Phil, 'cause you and I both know he'd love to go with you.'

He stood up and gave me a quick hug. 'Fine, but keep your schedule clear because one day I'll come for you and I won't be taking no for an answer.'

'My schedule?' I asked in disbelief. 'Mine? Clear? Whatever, crazy dude!'

'Whatever,' he replied as we started to walk away from each other. 'Just don't get too smashed tonight, alright?.'

'Yes, mom,' I replied nonchalantly as I placed the earphones of my iPod into my ears and turned it on. Right now I had this book to finish. Any thoughts about a certain brunette man were completely irrelevant.

Keep going, Teslow. You're just a few more years away from sanity.

-

When I got back to my studio, I set down my bag on the big green chair by the door and stepped straight into the shower. Afterwards, with nothing on but a towel, I proceeded into the kitchen to call my friends. I really was supposed to go out with them tonight, and I hate to cancel plans, especially at the last minute. First was Kait to tell her I was still coming, then I'd be calling Lilith to ask if she still wanted that top she asked for.

Kait is my best, best friend. As you know, we met when she told me about how this place was available. She loves bright eye makeup and when she isn't wearing it, she usually has crazy red or hot pink lips. She's naturally a deep brunette but she bleaches her hair and wears pink and purple streaks. Only she could pull it off. She's so athletic I get dizzy thinking about it. And she's a total music nut. I feel so out of touch when she recites the names of countless indie bands off by heart...

Lilith is also a legend to me. I met her in my second year of college when we both had to compete in a debate for our political science class. I invited her over for lunch and we've been best friends ever since. Lil's very shy as opposed to Kait and I. I guess the best way to describe her is to tell you to picture Annelle from Steel Magnolias in your head, only with bright red hair and a ton of freckles. Oh- and she's not Daryl Hannah. I guess that part is kinda important.

After calling the girls and deciding on where we were going to go, I also dialed Phil. He's on my speed dial list, number one. Rarely a day goes by where I don't see him, but if I haven't, I'll have called him a million times.

He answered in a bored tone ("What's it to ya?"), and I rolled my eyes as I began to talk.

'Phil, it's me.'

'Hey, Keels,' he replied, again sounding like he couldn't care less. I kind of deserved it for the way I'd ignored him at lunch, but whatever.

'Did you call Nolan? What'd he say?'

'Yeah, he's up for it. Why?'

'No reason... I just felt the need to talk.'

He laughed out loud, and it took him a while to recover. 'You? NEED to talk? Sorry, Keels, but I'm finding it hard to believe that you would _need_ to talk. I mean, you talk all day, all night! You talk to your books and your rabbit! You are the last person in the world who would actually need to talk.'

'Shut up!' I cried. 'Sometimes I wish you are here just so I can kill you.'

He wasn't exactly lying, though. I talk to my computer, myself, the weatherman on TV... Everyone who'll listen, basically. They don't even have to exist, as long as I can get some words out, I'm satisfied. I think it's a genetic thing, but I'm not half as bad as my mother.

Okay, well, maybe I am.

'What I cease to figure out,' Phil droned on, snapping me back to reality, 'is why you need to talk after just an odd two hours ago I was sitting under that tree with you. Most people would find enough talk in those forty-five minutes to last them their senior year. Sometimes I don't get you, Keely, you totally confound me...'

I sighed as I sank back into my Ektorp chair. His voice was setting off little tremors in my mind, each one heading down another trail of thought. I was imagining a total array of things: what happened at lunch, what he was doing as he was talking to me now, and a few personal fantasies mixed in my mind to create an ambrosia of Phil. I crossed my arms around myself all the while keeping the phone to my ear as he rambled on. Phil was my narcotic, simple as that. He was water to me. You can live without it for a day but any longer and you just can't function.

'...and that's how Pillsbury and Toll House, my childhood Sea Monkeys, met their tragic end. May it be a lesson to you.'

Snap! And there was reality again. It was nice while it lasted, I suppose. I sat up straighter and took a sip from the glass of iced tea I had rested on the side table. It was now that I realized that I had about half an hour to get ready before the girls would arrive. Right now he was rambling on in the middle of a big speech about God only knows what, and if I didn't get started on my makeup, hair and clothing now, I'd be sitting in a bar over Daiquiri wrapped in nothing but a towel. I stood and rushed into the kitchen and set my iced tea glass on the counter as I pulled the tea jug out from the fridge.

'Phil,' I began as I tipped the iced tea back into the jug and set the glass on the bottom of the kitchen sink. 'I'd love to go on but I have to be out of this studio in a quarter of an hour!'

'Sorry,' he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. 'Just call me when you get back.'

'I'll have a Martini for you,' I smiled and headed for my closet.

'You know they're my favorite,' he laughed.

'I know a little more than your favorite drink,' I smirked cooly and hung up the phone. Oh yeah. You can make me as klutzy as you want, but the coolness will always remain.

-

After hanging up with Phil, I opened my closet and pulled out my favorite red flounce dress. I put it over a pair or translucent tights and added some jewelry and a blazer. I was just finishing up on my makeup when the doorbell buzzed to alert me that the girls were here. Grabbing my bag, I ran towards the front door and pulled it open, grabbing my friends in a big bear hug as soon as I was face-to-face with them.

'God, Keely!' cried Kait as she reluctantly hugged back. 'What if it was axe murderers at the door, and they came in and slaughtered you. You'd be your own enemy, realistically.'

'Thanks for that,' I said sarcastically. 'Now I have the idea in my head. I won't be able to sleep tonight!'

'Yeah, yeah, whatever,' Kait replied boredly and dragged me by the wrist out of the door. Lilith and I both rolled our eyes and as I was being drug down the hallway, she kindly closed and locked up the apartment for me with the keys on the table by the door. By the time she was done, we were already in the street. Kait somehow didn't realize that Lil was left behind. Which is kind of understandable as she's so quiet all the time, but...

We decided to walk to the club and catch a taxi home. It was a small little girly bar that played things like Shania Twain and Amiel. Guys naturally detest the place so it's pretty fun to go to. It's pretty safe too, but it's always going to be stupid to walk home alone in the dark, so a taxi was really our only option.

We grabbed a table and sat down on the red velvet chairs, and when the waitress came around and took our orders, we were already deep into discussion. It's nights like these that you remember: and not just because the gossip is so hard to forget!

We were there for around forty-five minutes when Kait casually brought up the topic I'd been praying she'd forget to mention. The Phil topic.

We're all mutual friends. Kait and Lilith know Phil, he knows them. The girls know Nolan, Nolan knows Phil... It fits together nicely. Though the girls haven't talked with Phil all that much, they've sussed out everything about our relationship. Nothing major really, except for the fact that I'm a hundred percent in love with him. Daydreaming about him while I'm supposed to be listening to my professor in class, or imagining a life together while watching Desperate Housewives. It's like a drug, an addiction. It's impossible to get rid of. You want to get a hit every day - spill out your heart - but when you try to speak you fumble over your words and say something totally beside the point. It's horrible. I wish I could just tell him how I feel...

'So how are things with you and Phil?' she asks nonchalantly, but little does she know the very mention of his name makes my stomach tighten up. Kait sips her Mint Julep and sets it back down on the table. Lilith puts hers down, too, and looks at me attentively.

I sigh and lean forward in my seat a little, and place my hands in my lap. 'Indifferent,' I say simply. And now they'll question me. Just like always. Why would I expect anything different?

'You two have known each other since what? High school? Just tell him you love him, get a quick wedding, then proceed to fill the world with tons of little Keely replicas. I need someone to practice hairstyling on, anyway.'

Kait's a hairstylist, did you know. I think I mentioned before her hair is never one color for much longer than a fortnight. Still, the ideas of kids with Phil sent shivers down my spine. And the idea of _making_ kids with him sent shivers in between my legs as well.

'What?' I asked in disbelief. I knew my friends were out there but this was pretty outrageous. 'Nothing like that happens between us. Ever.' This is when I turned to Kait. 'And what makes you think I'd let you cut the hair off of my children? I'd leave them there blonde and they'd come home with pink and purple polka dots!'

'Ah, so you admit the idea of kids with Diffy has crossed your mind!' Cried Kait and raised her hands in what must have been her form of a victory dance. I just rolled my eyes and sipped at my daiquiri.

'I don't see any reason why you should torment her, Kait,' said Lilith and gave our nutty friend one of her signature looks. 'You've been gifted with more confidence you can shake a maraca at. Wait a minute... I'm not necessarily sure that can be considered a gift..'

We all laughed at that. The rest of the night wasn't much different. There were more cocktails, more laughs and much, much more gossip. At the end of the night we were pretty drunk and definitely exhausted so a taxi ride home was highly welcomed. I was the first one home as I lived closest, explaining why the girls were already together when they came to get me.

I nearly fell out of the cab when it pulled up outside the store. I drug my tired self up the stairs and down the hallway to my front door and fell into bed after taking off my jewelry and shoes, I was even too tired to fully undress. That night I fell into an easy sleep thinking about none other than my best friend Phil. I think I had it coming to me, but it's not something that's easy to see when you're as young and naive and carefree as I am. Different personalities are harder to imagine on yourself than you'd think, take it from me.


	3. chapter two

-- chapter two --

I slept until ten the next morning and when I got up, I felt like falling into bed again. Hangovers. Nobody hates them more than I do. I don't drink that much... Once a month, and normally not this bad. I guess it was just so great to finally see my friends, that I let it get a little out of hand. I don't know, all I do know is that I needed aspirin. Quick.

I trudged into the kitchen holding a hand to my forehead, opened the refrigerator to grab a water bottle and pulled the aspirin bottle out of the bottom drawer. Done, good. I decided then that what I wanted was a bath, so I picked up Atonement to finish (for real this time) and my water, and headed into the bathroom. I ran the water, stripped off my clothes, and climbed in. The water was refreshing and if I wasn't careful enough, I would probably fall asleep.

The shortest half hour later, my phone went off. I'm just glad it was a Saturday, or I'd have a very pissed professor to report to. Still, who was I to deny my friends? I got out and wrapped myself in a towel before heading back into the living room to talk to whoever was trying to contact me. Turned out to be Nolan, calling to ask for Kait's mobile number. Again. It was obvious that he had a thing for her. Kait, not so much. Not that she was oblivious- ha! She was anything but! She just doesn't like him in that way. Beats me as to why, as they love the same bands, watch the same shows, wear the same clothes- heck, they even look the same! I guess attraction is more than just on the outside. I should know.

My stomach growled, and I realized just how good an omelette sounded right now...

I give him the number and walk into my room with the phone still to my ear.

'So you went out with Phil last night?' I asked. 'What'd you get up to?'

He sighed loudly. 'I knew you'd get into that. All was well and good... we had pizza, talked guy talk, and watched that Angelina movie... Quite good. Odd. Biopics confuse me. And you?'

At the end of his little ramble I had already pulled a dress over my head and was now searching for my favorite pair of charcoal tights.

'Nothing out of the ordinary Nol'. A few drinks, a big hangover, lots of girl chat you'd be completely compelled into hearing about, but we'll never explain. You're smart, you can fill in the blanks.'

'So it was a roaring success!' he joked, and I just rolled my eyes as I put on my shoes. As much as I loved the guy, right now all I was concerned in doing was getting some food in my stomach.

'Yes, it was,' I replied, smiling. 'You know I'd love to stay and chat-'

'You didn't have to tell me!' he cried exasperatedly. 'You'd talk all day and all night if you had the chance-'

'Funny, that's just exactly what Phil said. Whoa, you and he really did talk last night! You never cease to amaze, Nolan,' I replied, shaking my head. I picked up my bag and keys and headed for the front door.

'Neither you, Keely,' he said, mimicking me. He has a habit of doing that. Cheap thrills, y'know?

'As I was saying... I'd love to go on but I am ravenous. I'll call you back later maybe.'

'Maybe?' he said, loudly so I had to hold the phone away from my ear temporarily. 'What's this maybe you speak of? You owe me a phone call or I'll come down to that studio and-'

'Goodbye, Nolan,' I said in a disgruntled tone, and set the phone back on the charger before heading out of the apartment.

-

It took me around ten minutes to get to my favorite cafe and by then I was really starving. The waitress seated me quickly and she didn't even have to go and get a menu, I already knew what I wanted. I got out my phone and played around with it a bit to pass time, wishing I had brought my book but knowing I had the whole day to finish it.

The waitress brought out my coffee and as I stirred in the usual packet of sugar, I noticed a flashing light hit me in the face repeatedly, blinding me. Well, 'noticed' is a big understatement. A person wearing eight pairs of sunglasses could recognize it, and it was starting to piss me off. After regaining my vision slightly, I winced in the direction of the flashing. It was just some moron fiddling with his fork, and it was reflecting the light from the window straight into my eyes.

And the man holding the fork was looking at me, smiling. He looked away quickly though, and I went about my breakfast as usual. Nothing like eggs benedict with ketchup when you're really, really hungry. Weekends were definitely my favorites. No rush, no muss. So I took my sweet (savory?) time with breakfast, and when the time came to pay I got a rather pleasant surprise.

I realized something was up when I pulled out my wallet and the waitress just smiled knowingly instead of normally telling me the price.

'What's up?' I asked, snapping my wallet shut.

'That fellow who was sitting over there insisted he pay for your breakfast,' she smiled, motioning over to where the man who's fork had blinded me (as odd as that sounds, it was true) had sat. Let us just say he was forgiven... and then some. I was a little disappointed that he'd already left because I really wanted to thank him.

I tipped the waitress anyway and gathered my stuff before heading towards my favorite park. It was similar to the University Library Park (ULP) that I had had my lunch at yesterday, but this one was right in the middle of Hartford. You could sit there with your iPod, a muffin and a book or notebook and just chill. It's how I spent my free mornings or afternoons- when I had them.

I took my place on a bench underneath a nice bay tree. After taking out my favorite black A4 art pad, I began to draw. I drew the landscape before me; the long stretch of overgrown, deep green grass. The historical apartment buildings that lined the streets and went up!- into dark streets lined with small lollipop-shaped trees. Cars parked along the sidewalks, accompanied by parking meters. And closer to me danced a friendly, clearly excited puppy. A small boy ran after it, laughing, his mother walking behind him pushing a stroller.

And next to me, a young man sat. The same man, in fact, from the cafe. And he wasn't doing anything, just reading silently from a rather disorganized organizer. I continued on, adding shading to the grass in my drawing where the shadows of the puppy and child should be. As I went on, I struck up a small conversation with the man.

'Thank you for paying,' I said simply, smiling slightly. He looked up from his organizer briefly to look me in the eyes and smile.

'It was my pleasure,' he replied, putting his attention back to what he was doing before. 'Didn't mean to startle you with that sunlight. Felt I should apologize.'

'Amply,' I added, and he gave a short laugh.

'My name's Logan,' he said, closing the organizer and putting it back in his bag. 'Normand. Do you mind if I ask yours?'

'Keely Teslow,' I instantly replied. 'You go to college here?'

He paused for a second. 'No... I'm at Yale... I come up to Hartford every week or so. You?'

I felt kind of lame, me being a student at Hartford and he at Yale. But I figured I could do worse, so I picked my head up a bit and told him where I went, and my major. His was Engineering, something that completely fried my brain just to think about.

I don't usually do this kind of thing, so don't go getting any ideas. I know, I know. You're screaming at me, "what thing, idiot?". Well, talking to strangers, for one thing. But allowing a stranger to buy me breakfast (okay, not really 'allowing', I had no input. But what would you call it?) and chat me up (see previous brackets).

Logan Normand had scruffy blonde hair, rich brown eyes and, to be honest, looked like James Dean's long lost brother. I'm sure he was well-off, and even more sure that he had women chasing him wherever he went. Though I knew this was true, he had that charm. That educated, scruffy, college charm. And, like many before me, it was taking me in.

-

That was a month ago, and that was how I met Logan, my boyfriend. Yes, he did go to Yale. And that really was his organizer, and it _was_ disorganized. Badly.

Basically, he took me out for a few drinks, then another time for a movie, and finally on the third date, after dinner, we kissed and, as they say, made it 'official'. I must say it's nice to be able to say that I'm in a relationship. There are endless ways to phrase it. "I have a boyfriend", "I'm with someone", or, well, that's all I can think of right now, but it's still pretty damn cool!

It's still a field day over here in this little part of the country. I go to college four times a week, then art school twice, and the rest is spent blogging or hanging with friends or, hah, my boyfriend! Sorry, I know that's getting annoying. It's just too much fun to say! Again and again and again and...

To answer your question, no, I haven't just suddenly got Phil out of my mind. I still love him with all my heart and think about him constantly, but that doesn't mean I can't have a real boyfriend, does it? And how often does this happen to me? I'll tell you how often: never.

Logan is amazing. He is the spur-of-the-moment kind of guy who brings you flowers and candy and always agrees to see the movie you want to see... And he is always absolutely mind-numbingly adorable with the scruffy hair and glasses, like Buddy Holly only hot. And he treats me like gold, but really likes his space. And though I talk more than Anne of Cleaves (what? I heard she was a gossip!), I try hard to be respectful.

But yes, Phil is always, always in my thoughts. And though I'm happier than I've been in quite a while and I know I shouldn't complain, I'm just as sorrowful inside.

Phil's got a girlfriend, too.

-

Her name is Katie Lawson. She's absolutely perfect. She has milk chocolate brown hair that goes down to her shoulders, perfectly cut. Her eyes are crystal blue, skin like porcelain. She makes you feel like crap just by giving her opinion on the Sex and the City movie, and she doesn't even have to put any effort into it. It flows out of her like tiny perfect insult oxygen. It's absolutely insane.

And she's sweet. Sweet and cute and she looks like a tenth grader, with pastel colors and such. Phil loves her, he gets misty eyed just by the mention of her name. Sometimes I want to snap him back to reality - maybe a little bit too hard so that she's forced out of his brain.

I know, I know, I'm a selfish idiot who wants everything for herself. But not really, just one thing, Phil. Trust me, it's not easy. It's never easy for me.

I kind of feel like Julianne in My Best Friend's Wedding, with Katie being Kimmy and Phil being Michael. But unlike Jules I'm not scheming to break them up. 'Cause that would break me up with Logan, and probably end my friendship with Phil, too. So I hold my tongue and hope for the best. I guess it's all I can do, huh?

So, Katie. He met her at the movies when he went to see A Mighty Heart. She was there with her brother, who's name escapes my attention for the moment, but that's not the point. She accidentally bumped into him and spilled bright red cream soda all over his light grey shirt. So she offered to buy him dinner to apologize, and it kind of spanned from there.

What I fail to understand is why when I spill cream soda on his shirt at the movies and offer to make it up to him, he just says it's okay and makes jokes about how I'm so darn clumsy. And when this random stranger does it, he ends up dating her! It's absolutely nuts!

Here I am now, lounging on my sofa, my bunny Choo in my lap, with Young and the Restless on the box. I should be paying attention to Amber's latest escapades, but all I can think of is that phone call from Phil where he told me all about her.

"_She's great, Keely. You'd like her a ton... She's actually a whole lot like you," he declares brightly. I put on a brave face and with my best happy and supportive voice I chime,_

"_That's great, Phil! I'm so, so happy for you. Really!"_

Stupid, stupid me. Nobody deserves this kind of torture. It's ridiculous! And it's ridiculous because I can end everything and make it better in two minutes, but there's like this magnetic... force, holding me back!

'Aaaaargh!' (I said that aloud, making Choo flinch).

'Aw, I'm sorry bun-bun,' I coo, petting him to calm him down. 'I know I drive you nuts.'

Maybe, just maybe...

Hm? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking...

But it doesn't matter now.

We'll see sooner or later, I promise you that.


	4. chapter three

--chapter three--

This chapter contains email addresses that I don't own and am unsure if they are actual people's emails. I'm sure you won't actually go and email them glares at you all... But just to be certain... don't. Mmkay? Thankyooz.

Oh no, oh no. This is not good, people. No, not good at all.

I see you, don't think I don't see you.

I see you at your computers going "what the good lord is she on about?"

I am in so much trouble, do you know that?

Allow me to explain.

-

I am sitting at home, and Phil lets himself in, giving me a fright. I yell at him for a second but see that he's got a letter in his hand, so I shut up about him barging in and instead go on about what he's holding.

'It was in my mailbox,' he said and handed it to me. 'Addressed to Keely Teslow. I get those all the time from the campus, they must think we live together or something.'

'We practically do,' I said absentmindedly and took the letter from him, looking at it with curiosity. So I open it, and unfold the single white piece of paper. It's a small letter, one or two paragraphs tops, black ink and at the bottom it's signed with regards from my youth services professor, Richard Lawrence. At the top next to Phil's address is an 'URGENT' stamp.

I skimmed through it quickly as Phil took a seat and watched me with an entertained smile.

'What's it say?' he asked nosily, and my jaw dropped as my eyes hit the word 'fail'.

'I failed my major,' I said in a barely audible whisper.

'What?' he chuckled nervously. 'No you didn't.'

'I wouldn't joke about this, Phil!' I cried and put the letter on the kitchen island next to where I'm standing.

'Here, let me see it,' he said, standing up, and picked it up to read it. An odd minute later I heard him curse.

'Well this can't be right. You studied weeks for this.'

'I can't fail my major, I can't do it, Phil!'

'How old is this Lawrence guy? Maybe he's too senile and forgot to write 'pass'.'

'He's like forty, Phil. Not exactly livin' in a retirement home!' I whined and crashed into him.

He hugged me. 'Maybe you can retake the finals. I'm sure of it, actually. But why would you fail?'

'I missed a couple of classes this past month or so, but that shouldn't affect whether I pass or fail, right?' I grasped his collar and shook him. 'Say I'm right!'

'Well, sure,' he said. 'But.. I don't know. As far as I know, it shouldn't matter all that much.'

I whine and scream into his shirt.

'Maybe we can go down to his office and talk to him?' he suggested.

'Well looks like I'm gonna have to,' I say, my words muffled in his chest.

He chuckled and patted my head. 'C'mon. You want me to go with you?'

'No, I'll be OK.'

I was wrong, guys. It was awful.

I headed down to Prof. Lawrence's office and knocked on the door, holding my letter as if it were life support in the other hand.

'Come in,' he said in his gravelly voice and I pushed the door open slowly. It squeaked loudly, making me wince, and this made him look up from what must have been a term paper he was grading.

'Ahh, Miss Teslow,' he said in a knowing tone. 'I was quite sure you'd turn up here sooner or later.'

'I'm here to-'

'Yes, I know why you're here.'

This got me frustrated but I had to be calm and totally professional. '-Discuss my grade.'

'You mean that big red F printed on your Youth Service's class? Yes, this should be entertaining.'

'I do not think you gave this to me fairly,' I said, fighting back tears.

'Care to explain why, Miss Teslow?'

'I worked hard for a passing grade,' I said and took a seat at his desk facing him. 'And I'm sure you can understand my frustration at a fail!'

'Please, Miss Tes-'

I snapped. 'My name is Keely!'

'-Keely. You aren't a charity case. I have failed several students before for the exact same reason.'

'_And what reason would that be?_' he added, putting his attention back to the term paper. 'Social life before your obligations, _Keely_. You got into this college not because you are a good friend but because you have something up here.' He pointed to his head.

'Well that's an unfair judgement. I've missed what, two classes? Three tops? And my work hasn't dropped in quality, I show up on time, I'm a great student if I say so myself. I think you have a grudge against me or something.'

He laughed out loud. 'A grudge? Miss Teslow, I'm not so petty as to fail you on a grudge. And whatever would I have a grudge on you for?'

'You tell me!' I cried. 'I don't deserve to fail!'

He put down the paper and took of his glasses, rubbing his temple. 'Look, I am a skilled professor. I didn't earn my tenure by passing every one of my students that walked into my class. It wouldn't be very fair now would it?'

'That's exactly my point! It is not fair!'

I swiped a sleeve across my eyes to try and wipe away my tears.

'This is my major, and I worked damn hard.'

He gave me a patronizing look. I wanted to slap it right off him but figured it wouldn't get me very far.

'You can retake the final. That's my only offer, take it or leave it.'

'Fine,' I said scathingly. 'What time do you want me?'

He pretended to think. I knew he was pretending, as he'd given a lecture once on deterring when kids (and adults) are lying, and how to tell the difference and control it.

I told you I was a great student!

'Monday, at four. I expect you to be there on time, or I might give you a G.'

He laughed to himself and I got up. 'I expect you to grade me fairly this time or I'll take it up with the council.'

He didn't respond, just stared at me, amused. So I gathered up my stuff and left. By that time it was raining pretty hard and I screamed out of frustration before marching back towards my home.

Phil was snoozing on my couch when I got home, but my angry grumbling surely woke him up. He rubbed his eyes and gave me a look that said 'I'm here if you need me,', and suddenly everything melted away. Cheesy as all get out, I know, but it calmed me like nothing else, it always does. I ran up and hugged him, holding him tight. He paused for a second and then hugged me back, and we just stood there holding each other for around five minutes.

I love him so damn much, it actually hurts.

'What happened? Can you retake the exam?'

I took in a sharp breath. 'Yes... He was a real ass about it though. He said I was too social.'

'Why... that... Imbecile!' he cried comically. I looked up at him, gaping.

'You don't agree with him, do you?' I asked seriously, worried. 'I mean, I missed two classes-'

'Keels, the guy wouldn't know social if it came up and danced the rhumba with him. He probably has never been laid in his life, or had a girlfriend, or even a pet he really liked. So he can't judge you. Only you can, but you shouldn't. 'Cause you're awesome.'

'You make everything seem okay,' I whispered, hugging him again.

'And don't you doubt it for two seconds,' he grinned and kissed the top of my head. I broke away, getting a great, awesome idea. I quickly ran and grabbed my box of nail polish, set it on the kitchen table and pulled up two chairs.

'I have a feeling this'll be against my favor?' He said questioningly, but sat down anyway and spaced out his fingers.

'Co-operative. I like that about you,' I grinned and sat opposite him. 'So you really think he's never been laid?'

'Pretty damn sure of it, actually,' he chuckled as I got out a base coat. 'What does that do?'

'Oh... It keeps the polish on longer.'

'Woo-hoo,' he said unenthusiastically- of course. I just laughed.

10 minutes later Phil was equipped with a lovely set of Skittles nails. Pink, orange, yellow, green, blue. As they dried I tidied up and listened to Phil talk about Katie a little. I held my tongue about Logan as he was being such a good friend... It still made me angry, though, that she could get him after two days and I'd known him since we were six.

However, when I heard him say 'but', my heart soared! There's a but, guys! There's a but about Katie! Ignore the phrasing, celebrate the thought!

'What's wrong with her?' I said immediately.

'Wow, way to jump the gun,' he chuckled. 'That's kind of what I was thinking about... Katie's great, but..'

He sighed and got up only to lean against the counter where I was.

'Phil, what's wrong?' I asked sincerely. As much as I disliked the girl I hated to see him upset.

'That's kind of what I was going to ask you... I don't see myself with her for a long period of time, you know? And I mean, you're my best friend, but...'

I felt like singing! Was this what I thought it was?

'...but I can't help but sometimes see you as-'

'Knock knock?' came a voice from the door. Most of the time I'd be floating on air to hear that voice, but now it felt sickening. Phil paused as Logan walked in with a smile.

'How's my favorite gir- Oh. Hello,' he said, pausing when he saw Phil. 'And you are?'

'This is Phil... You know, _Phil_. My best friend.'

It was hard to keep the annoyance out of my voice.

'Ahh,' he said. 'The Pickford Potato!'

He extended a hand to Phil, who stared at it for a while before taking it.

'The Daddy's Boy! So glad to finally meet you!' Phil said, mimicking his voice. Kill me, I thought.

'Nice nails,' said Logan, surprisingly keeping a straight face.

'Oh, you really think so?!' Phil cried sarcastically. 'I feel like Jennifer Love Hewitt!'

'Shut up,' I hissed and whacked him on the shoulder.

'Anyway, I'd better head off,' Phil said suddenly. 'I've gotta go watch Dexter. These nails remind me of the episode where they find those disembodied fingers on ice, what with the different colored nail polish and all... Anyway, nice meeting you Old Money!' He cried jovially and walked towards the door.

I almost called out to him to ask him what he was going to say, but I didn't. Whatever it was, he wouldn't be saying it now. Not in front of Logan.

And so he left. Go me. Things always turn out just peachy for me, don't they?

As soon as the door had shut, Logan had his lips on mine. It wasn't a sweet kiss though, it was a possessive kiss. A 'you're mine' kiss, and I wasn't impressed at all. I pushed him off me and wiped my mouth with my sleeve, and then I stormed off and plonked down on the couch.

'What was he here for?' he asked grumpily and crossed his arms.

'He just so happens to be my best friend, so he can come over any time he wants,' I replied, switching on TV. Right now, he deserved all the annoyance I threw at him.

'Well you're my girlfriend, and to me he was standing way too close to you for comfort.'

'That's not for you to say,' I said briskly. 'I've known him all my life. Better than anyone.'

'So if it came between me and him you'd choose him, right?' He asked roughly.

I laughed out loud. 'Well of course I would! He's my _best friend_, Logan. And I've known you for what, two months? Com'mon!'

'What the HELL?' He yelled, not unlike a child. I turned to him, angry.

'What in Gods name was that about?' I said, giving him a confused look.

'How do you think I'm supposed to take that?' He moaned, and he sat down next to me.

'Well I'm sorry but don't you see? You're asking me to give up my best friend.'

'I didn't say that,' he said gruffly.

'Actually, in all honesty, you kinda did,' I said.

'Well how am I supposed to feel when I walk in and see you two standing an odd inch apart?' He cried. I switched off the TV and faced him.

'What? You think there's something going on between us?' I laughed. 'That's nuts.'

'Not really,' he persisted. I rolled my eyes.

'You're a child,' I said simply and got up, walking to the kitchen.

'You're so hot when you're pissed,' he grinned. I felt myself flinch inside but I didn't really know why.

'Charming,' I said flatly, pouring out the iced tea from this morning. 'If you keep getting so overprotective like you just did now, you won't need to pay for hot water for a long, long time.'

I didn't mean to lead him on, really, but it was the only way I knew how to shut him up.

He groaned and melted into the couch. And that's the last I heard from him until a couple of hours later when he left.

-

At six at night I brushed my teeth, got into my pajamas and curled up on the couch with a quilt around my legs. I studied for around an hour but everything I looked at I'd already known about. So why the heck was this guy failing me? I set the book down and stared at it for a while. If he fails me again, it's official that there's something wrong with his head. And it's not good to make myself worry so much. I mean, it didn't seem like the exam was overly difficult when I took it. If he fails me again, I'll just get another teacher to grade it. Easy!

I put the book down next to the couch so I wouldn't have to look at it, and set my computer on my lap. I was undecided between playing Sims or talking to friends when the noise that tells you you've got a new conversation on MSN jumped up and startled me. I turned down the volume and opened the window. Who else but Phil?

Diffy (eats cheese for a living) 

- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? 

Today his icon was of Die Hard something or rather. It was Bruce Willis and Jason Long and there was a caption reading 'one sidekick. To go. With fries'.

Mine was of the Eiffel Tower.

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:09:02 PM)**

_Howdy Keels. What's cracking on your side of the hemisphere?_

I stared at it for a moment and a grin effortlessly formed on my lips.

**K. - Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:09:14 PM)**

_It's the same hemisphere, Mr. Cheez._

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:09:23 PM)**

_Hehe... Yeah. Just testing you to see if your brain was working after that kerfluffle with your dipstick prof this morning. How you holding up?_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:09:29 PM)**

_AghhhHHHHHkkk! Don't get me started!_

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:09:37 PM)**

_That well, huh?_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:10:04 PM)**

_Ugh! I swear, he has something against me. It's crazy! I mean, I went right back over my notes a bajillion times and I know everything there is to know already. If he doesn't pass me, I'm gonna get someone else to grade it. It's... bah._

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:10:12 PM)**

_I tell ya, if you used words like 'bajillion' in your exam, I'm not surprised you failed. :P_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:10:30 PM)**

_You're such a jerk. Remember what I said about wishing you are here so I can kill you? I'm not afraid of really killing you now that my life is officially down the crapper. I have no future! I'll be forced into petty crime and spend the rest of my life in a jail cell! Orange is not a good color on me Phil, it just isn't!_

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:10:36 PM)**

_ROFLMAO!!_

Why oh why did I teach that boy chat speak?

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:10:40 PM)**

_It's not funny!!_

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:10:43 PM)**

_Like hell it's not!! C'mon, just picture it..._

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:10:49 PM)**

_I'd rather not, thanks. ._

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:11:17 PM)**

_...Knotted hair, gray socks, old Broccoli crate to sit on, sharing a cell with Darla: the one who sold drugs, and Martha: the ingenious homekeeper convicted of conspiracy. Forced to listen to music like the Bee Gee's on the prison radio station. Making cahoots with a fraudster prison guard who has plans to run away to Albuquerque and take a bunch of prisoners with him. When you get to Albuquerque can you go ahead and kill those kids from High School Musical for me? Thanks a bunch. You're a real doll!_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:11:30 PM)**

_And you're full of the crap I'm gonna kick out of you!! _

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:11:34 PM)**

_Aw, I love you too. XD_

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help skim over the words. 'I love you too.'

He said it a lot, never in the context I hoped for, but every time he said it I'd think about what it'd be like if he said it and really meant it like I mean it. Every time I thought about it the idea of it was too good to be true. Sadly, that's exactly what it was. Too good to be true.

I said that last bit aloud.

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:11:57 PM)**

_Still there?_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:12:05 PM)**

_Wha? Oh, yup. Listening to The White Stipes._

'_I just don't know what to do with myself...'_

_You tell 'em, Jack._

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:12:08 PM)**

_Stripes_

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:12:10 PM)**

_Ahhh, Elephant. How I love thee._

See? He loves a lot of things.

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:12:15 PM)**

_Kind of suits your situation, doesn't it?_

What? How could he know? He can't know!!

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:12:18 PM)**

_What?_

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:12:23 PM)**

_What do you mean 'what'? I'm talking about your grade._

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:12:29 PM)**

_Oh... yeah, right._

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:12:34 PM)**

_You're crazy. Crazy I tell you!_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:12:40 PM)**

_Man, you give me a headache even through writing._

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:12:46 PM)**

_You be nice to me. I'm your BFF foreva! 11onesGLOMP1237!_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:13:04 PM)**

_It's called SUPERFLINGYTACKLEPOUNCE thank-you-very-much!!_

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:13:07 PM)**

_:)_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:13:12 PM)**

_Anyway, be glad you have me. I was the only friend you had when you moved to Pickford. I mean, nobody wants to sit with the Utah kid._

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:13:19 PM)**

_Be glad you have ME. It was either me or a guy called Chico!_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:13:23 PM)**

_Ole! _

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:13:28 PM)**

_XD So what did Old Money want?_

Ahh, sensitive topic. I thought about what to say, tapping my fingers gently on the keyboard. The computer dinged to tell me I had another response from Phil.

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:13:41 PM)**

_What the? _

_I looked down and turns out I had accidentally written 'sdsdjjsdkj' while tapping my fingers. Stupid me!_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:13:59 PM)**

_Oh! Haha... I was tapping the keys absentmindedly. I didn't know I'd sent it. Sorry._

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:14:04 PM)**

_No problem. So... ?_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:14:09 PM)**

_Logan?_

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:14:13 PM)**

_Yes'm._

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:14:20 PM)**

_Oh, nothing really. He just came over... no real reason._

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:14:22 PM)**

_Hey, Phil?_

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:14:25 PM)**

_That's my name!_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:14:34 PM)**

_What were you going to say today before he came in?_

I waited for a response for probably a minute, growing more nervous by the second.

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:15:20 PM)**

_You there?_

Ding! His answer popped up that exact second.

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:15:20 PM)**

_I was going to say that you're like a guy friend... In that I can tell you anything._

_Oh_. That's all I could think to say to myself.

So he didn't see me as more than a friend..

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:15:29 PM)**

_Oh. Ok._

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:15:34 PM)**

_Is something wrong?_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:15:41 PM)**

_Nothing out of the ordinary._

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:15:45 PM)**

_-.o_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:15:52 PM)**

_Never mind. _

_So how's things with her?_

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:15:57 PM)**

_Who, Katie?_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:16:03 PM)**

_No, Queen Victoria! Of course Katie! What are you, ignorant?_

That made me laugh.

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:16:09 PM)**

_Oh, duh. XD_

_Yep, we're... OK._

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:16:12 PM)**

Why the '...'?

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:16:21 PM)**

_We're really fine. Really. Fine. Don't go worrying your pretty little head._

_Whaddabout you?_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:16:27 PM)**

_Same. Really fine. _

_Damn, look at the time! I gotta go or my brain will fry._

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:16:32 PM)**

_You mean it hasn't already? :P_

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:16:38 PM)**

_You be quiet now._

_Goodnight, Mr. Cheez. _

**Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) says: (7:16:43 PM)**

_See ya, Eiffel Tower._

I managed to post a waving smiley before he signed off. I wrote one more message.

**- Before we go too far + I wanna know + Are you the one? says: (7:17:00 PM)**

_I love you._

_The message may not have gone through as Diffy. (Eats cheese for a living) appears to be Offline._

I sighed and put down the lid of my laptop and set it on the table. It was only a little past seven but suddenly I felt very tired and didn't want to handle any phone calls or emails, so I stared at the computer for a little while longer before I finally got up and went to bed.


	5. chapter four

**WOW this took way too long for me to put up, and I'm so sorry! I don't like this chapter, I'm afraid. I'm kind of moving off of POTF. **

**Sorry for the lack of enthusiasm, friends. :)**

**I have some Across the Universe fics & a couple more I am working on. If you've seen and liked the movie, please check them out. 3**

**Much love!**

 **-Nora**

--chapter four--

So, it's been a month since I talked to you last.

What's happened in 'my side of the hemisphere' since that time, hmm?

Well, I went to Sephora, bought some new sheets, watched way too many episodes of Two and a Half Men (a show I don't really even like) and to top it all off, I made a fuss over nothing.

Allow me to explain.

Again.

So, my major, right? And how my teacher was being so patronizing and I very nearly whacked the bespectacled dimwit to Timbuktu? All over nothing, my friends!

I took the exam again, along with a rather wispy looking student who was a freshman. Hers wasn't a major, but she was very nervous all the same. Anyway, I sat there, the answers came freely from my head like I had a cheat sheet stashed in my cerebellum or something nutty like that. Needless to say I pulled it off like nobody's business, my companion struggling along something sad, and finally I was done. Easy task. Now I just hope he'll actually pass me this time!

I handed it in and he stared at it for a few minutes.

'I believe I've made a mistake, Miss Teslow,' he said, cheeks burning.

'Yeah, it's about time you- what?' I thought I'd heard him wrong.

'It seems I've confused your exam for Leesha's, here...'

I turned and looked at the nervous girl, who was actually shaking in her seat. I gave her a warm smile and turned back to Lawrence, confused.

'What, so the exam you failed me on was actually hers? We're in two different classes! How could you not recognize that the questions were different from the subject?'

He held up a hand to silence me, but I wasn't angry, I was hugely amused. I was grinning like some crazy perve, most likely, but right now all I could think was 'yay!!'

'Congratulations and well done...' he said softly, hiding his head. Man, this guy was embarrassed! 'Have a good weekend...'

'It'll be hard not to now!' I thought, but instead said, 'no problem. You too.'

I left buoyant. I remember hugging a stranger in front of my apartment before heading inside. Heck, maybe I was being silly. I mean, I knew I was right all along. But the fact that he actually made a mistake was too awesome!

I got into my apartment and was greeted immediately by a ringing phone. I ran to grab it and smiled even wider when I saw that it was Phil who was calling. I hit the speaker phone button and walked away from the phone and his voice rang through my home.

'Oh what a beautiful mooooooooor-niiiing! Oh what a beautiful daaaay!'

'Phil!'

I slung my bag off of my shoulder and set it on the table. 'Ay!' he cried. 'You interrupted my solo!'

He chuckled. 'What are you so gleeful about?'

'You'll love this: my teacher got my report confused with this nervous girl's. I went to retake the test, and of course I nailed it, then he realized he had got my first assignment mixed up with hers. He was totally embarrassed about it. It was awesome.'

Phil's laugh filled the room and my cheeks felt warm. His laugh was wonderful.

'That's pretty insane. You want to celebrate?'

My response was way too easy: 'Yeah!'

-

I raised my hand with a smile and clunked my glass against Phil's. 'So, in celebration of my favorite blonde, and my best friend in the entire universe, I propose a night of anything goes!'

I blushed a little and took a sip. I really loved nights like these where we wanted to go out so suddenly that we... forgot... to call and invite anyone else. Even the people we were dating. It was just us, and (you all knowing how I feel about him) it was all I really wanted.

'So now what?' he smirked. I loved his smirks. 'Are you going to get all shy and hit me and be all, "Oh, Phil! You're so full of-"'

He was interrupted by me hitting him on the shoulder. '-Or you could do that,' he shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. 'Sorry to be a broken record, Phil-_icia_, but yes. You are so full of... _yadda yadda_. You can do the honors, right? Fill me in."

He breathed out. 'Alright. Let me give it a shot,' and set his glass of cola down on the countertop.

Oh, right: I forgot to explain our location, didn't I? Anyway.. Bars and clubs are so overrated, are they not? So we headed to our favorite soda shop downtown. I wasn't too hungry, and I doubt Phil was either, though he did complain a lot that he was. He liked to be annoying just to piss me off, I'm sure. Simply enough we ended up sharing a chocolate milkshake and a soda each. That's what days like this are for, you know. Crazy dessert combinations and best friends.

'I am so full of... Crap,' he shrugged when he said the first one. 'Beans, shit... though not in unison I assure you.' Boys. 'Cheese, I eat it for a living, you know. Uh, let me see... Stupidity... I'm about done, Keels. That's all I can think of.'

'I have one,' I beamed. 'You're so full of air if those are the only ones you can think of.'

'Wow,' he said dully. 'If I had bet a million bucks you'd say that, well, let's say I'd be a million bucks richer.'

'And then a million bucks _poorer_ because I'd take your money and spend it on shoes!'

He sighed and started attempting to tie his straw into a knot. 'Don't get a girl best friend, they told me. You'll either turn into a fruit or fall in love with her, they said...'

I had to double-take. I said nothing for a while as he mumbled some things incoherently, but I had to ask. 'What?'

'Huh?'

'_You'll either turn into a fruit or fall in love with her..._ What do you mean?' I felt myself flush. 'Are... are you saying your in love with me?'

Phil looked like a deer caught in the headlights and I immediately regretted saying anything. I'm positive he regretted starting it, too. 'Oh, Keely, no! I... I was just being an idiot.'

I looked down at my glass, mortified. 'Yeah, I know. I was only joking around... So you're a fruit then, huh?'

I'm sure I was very, very convincing... especially how my voice quivered with every freaking word I spoke! Way to screw it up, Keely! Of course he wasn't serious! Was I crazy for thinking it were possible though, really? I mean.. He was my best friend... But no. He has a girlfriend and everything he wants. He wouldn't want me, especially since I'm such a ditz. An honest-to-God ditz. _Oh, do you love me, Phil? Oh, yah, Keely! I do! Let's get married and spend the rest of our lives in a Blimp, flying over Fairy World, Arkansas!_ IDIOT!

I love him for playing along, though.

He smiled, albeit fakely, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. 'Yes. I enjoy hearing about Fendi and Prada and Lindsay Lohan's latest escapades. She's a fruit now too, you know. And that nail polish you fixed me up with only helped with my fruitiness. Thanks! I enjoy listening to Ska and I think that blond guy from Sex and the City is one hot tamale-'

'Yeah, I get it, Phil,' I sighed, laughing shakily. I punched him on the shoulder lightly. 'I knew you were just joking. I couldn't let you win now, could I?' I laughed fakely, though it came out pretty well.

He grinned. I knew he knew something was up, positive even. But he didn't let on that he knew anything. Have I mentioned I LOVE HIM?

'Yeah, Keels, you pretty much kicked me up the butt on that one,' he chuckled, and pulled me into him for a bear hug. I straightened my hair when he let go, and sipped on the milkshake.

'Thanks for ruining my hair, fruit,' I said, pretending to be snooty.

I had been pretending a lot lately.

-

'Mom and daaad, went to a shooow!'

'They dropped me oooff at Graaaampa Jo-oe's!'

'I kicked and screeamed, said please, no no!'

'GRAMMA TAKE ME HOME! GRAMMA TAKE ME HOME!'

We sang loudly as we ascended the stairs up to my place, Phil just a couple steps behind me all the way. This was our song. We heard one of the big kids play it in the playground when we were seven, and at the time we had no idea what it meant. We thought it was about a kid going to his grandparent's house. As we grew older we realized it was much darker and more demented than we first thought. We still continued to play it at every sleepover, though.

'I had to eeeat my diiinner theeere!'

'Mashed potatoes and stuuuuff, like thaaat!'

'I couldn't cheew my meeeat so goood!'

'Keely!'

I spun around with a smile, our song coming to an end. 'Can I stay over tonight?' he asked, looking sort of nervous. Talking tonight wasn't doing me much good so I just nodded. He smiled and followed me inside.

'I can put you up on the couch,' I said, and sat on it. 'But not until I go to bed.'

I stuck out my tongue and reached for the remote. He copied me, sticking out his tongue, and sat next to me. He talked all throughout 90210 and a rerun of Gossip Girl, which pissed me off. He kept complaining about 'those snooty kids'. I just replied with 'shut up, Mr. Utah.'

I went to bed a little while after Gossip Girl, closing myself up in my bedroom.

I couldn't sleep. I tried so hard but there were noises and my mound clouded and.. I just couldn't focus enough to be able to relax. Something was eating away inside of me and I just wanted to get it out there.

I lay there for around an hour, staring at the ceiling. It was a warmer night but I felt cold. I kept throwing it over in my head. Tell him? Not tell him. Tell him! Not tell him. It seemed never ending.

He was here, in my living room. It would be so easy.

I knew he wouldn't just stop being friends with me if his feelings weren't reciprocated, so I didn't have anything to lose, really. Except a fragile heart and enough tears to flood New York City.

Stupid emo Keely.

I sat up and turned on my bedside light, pulled out my favorite copy of Italian Vogue and began to read, getting my mind off the war in my head.

_On the left we have miss 'tell him you love him', decked in a stunning Chanel gown. On the right we have contender 'don't you dare say a word' immaculately dressed in a beautiful Heatherette..._

Squeeeeeak...

I looked up and Phil was standing in my doorway, looking ridiculously sheepish.

'Phil?' I asked, but said no more. Durr. Who else would it be, Whoopi Goldberg?

'Yeah, hi,' he muttered.

'You alright?' I asked, setting the open book upside-down on my thigh.

He nodded, fiddling with the door a little. 'I saw your light was on. I figured I'd see if you were okay.'

I smiled and nodded. 'I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep.'

'Right,' he said after a pause. 'I'll just leave you to your Gucci.'

'You can stay if you like. I mean, you might as well. You do love this fruity stuff.'

Winking at him caused an adorable grin to meet his lips. 'Ahh, my field of expertise!'

Running and jumping on the bed, he nestled in beside me, making me laugh. Looking from the outside, I'm sure we looked very intimate, something that confused me rather than made me gleeful. Was it right of me to want him so much when he has a girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend? Am I somehow gonna be 'the other woman' to Katie? I have to admit that the thought 'maybe he likes me back?' crossed my mind a lot lately. But then, with Phil, it was always hard to distinguish whether he really liked me, or if he was just humoring me. Like that time where I was thirteen and a (then) mutual friend of ours told him that I wanted to have his babies. Thanks, Jes, I really appreciate it. I was _mortified_, and back then we were both learning _new_ and _fascinating_ things about our bodies and it was one big hot mess because for a week after that people called me Titillated Teslow.

Good times.

He totally acted like it never happened though he did turn bright red whenever someone called me that name and he was within hearing range.

I know he knows how I feel. He has to. But he doesn't dance around the subject at all, so...

_Does_ he know?

...

I yawned, halfway through my magazine, Phil commenting every now and then ('Who's that?'. 'Why would you where _neons?_'), when I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach like I was being watched. I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye and sure enough there he was, watching me with a big old smile on his face.

'What?' I dragged slyly, giving him a curious look.

'Nothing,' he grinned. 'Just... _observing_.'

'Well stop it, 'cause you're freaking me out.'

He laughed dryly, sarcastically, and reached over his hand, brushing a piece of hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. I shuddered at the touch.

He propped himself closer to me, and you could hear a pin drop. His face grew closer to mine by the second, and I closed my eyes in anticipation...

Then, there it was. I got the hugest exploding sensation in my stomach, my chest fluttered and, well, every other cliched emotion you could think of, it was going on in my person at that time as he kissed me. I sat there for a second as everything else flew out of my head, and then I eagerly reciprocated.

Of course I did.

He moved his hand to the back of my neck and pulled me closer towards him, something to which I didn't object. I smiled against his lips and then, once my lungs started feeling like sandpaper, I pulled away.

...

Then I woke up.

**Uh, it might be confusing, but she fell asleep after the first '...'**

**The song they were singing is the amazing Sliver by Nirvana. Brilliant? Amen!**

**And 'Leesha' is a reference to the beautiful and fabulous xsparkage on YouTube. **

**(Though the character is not at all based on her, :P)**


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